- My new immune system is know about a month and a week old. First multiple sclerosis system came back in full force. Returning to the cold climate away from the equator made my symptoms extremely bad. It is to be expected that things would get worse before they got better. I am not completely bald but my hair is starting to grow back. I heard for many people the first things they noticed was that their bladder and bowels got better. And I am happy to report that mine slowly are. My bladder often works on its own and for the first time yesterday I had a bowel movement on my own! This may seem like no big deal to you. But to me it was wonderful. I honestly forgot what it felt like to have a normal one and they didn’t understand what my body was feeling until I realized I had gone! Before when I was in the hospital the doctors couldn’t even feel my bowels moving. Now if I can feel them moving and it is so weird. You are used to this sensation and I am not. I finally understand why people like to take a shit. It is still in up and down roller coaster though. I have days where I had a lot of strength and can clean. And then I have days where I can’t do anything but lie around and watch TV. But I do know stem cells are working. And I know in a few years I will be walking with a cane know it. So to all of those who donated to get me to Mexico let me just tell you it was a success it was worth it! Now I just have to find a way to get my last five IV injections. I have gone back to my old neurologist in Pennsylvania. He has known me for about 15 years and I have a feeling he will approve it and I will be able to get it in this country. But if for any reason that I cannot I am going to go back to Mexico to get it. I am not going to let stem cells take too much time because I didn’t get Five Silly IVs. I thought my gluten allergy had gone away because I ate flour in Mexico and was fine. When I returned to America I found that some things I could eat and other things made from flower caused me problems. So the people in Mexico were correct. In this country some, corporations and additives to their flour. Is it the additives that cause me problems. Not actually the wheat itself I only tell you this because I know many people in America think they have a gluten allergy. I know some people have celiacs disease and then is different. If you like me just have a sensitivity to American wheat flour this might be the same problem I have. Sorry I’m doing well and I am just still waiting my stem cells to grow. And find out about getting those five IVs I need. And I’m awaiting my hair to grow back. It is awfully cold in New York without hair. Take care and thank you for getting me as far as I have gotten.
- Peace and love Laurelin
me
Forrest Gump teaches me lesson
I realized now that I am the character Lieutenant Dan. I struggle with being crippled. I struggle with higher power. And I await my magic legs.
Forrest Gump
I was just changing the channel on the television when Forrest Gump was on. It was at the part where Forrest Gump was visiting Lieutenant Dan for the holidays. Lieutenant Dan is struggling with being a cripple. He has given up on life and turned to booze and just being angry at the world. I found myself comparing myself to him. In my late teens and early twenties I was Lieutenant Dan. I was extremely out of control. I stole and cheated, everyone. I took my anger out on friends and family. I had a wonderful college roommate named Joel. I took advantage of him in every way possible and I truly love him. I took advantage of my mother and I love her more than anyone. I turned away from all my sober friends and began running with a new crowd. A scary crowd. I did and saw things that I cannot even put into words nor would I want to let you know about. I had seen more friends died from drug overdose and drug-related incidents than the anyone should witness die in a lifetime. I had lost all hope. I had become Lieutenant Dan. Later in the movie Lieutenant Dan has an Awakening. When he defeats a storm on the boat and he finds his peace with his higher power. I can relate to this too. I had given up until I heard about stem cells. Suddenly I had a new hope. This hope would come at a large cost a cost which friends and family brought to me. Now I am in the storm. I am letting a new immune system grow and waiting to see the results. I hope like Lieutenant Dan I to get my magic legs. Because all legs that work .are Magic. I do believe I have found peace with my higher power. But watching Lieutenant Dan makes me realize that I still need to get through the storm. I have my faith. My support system family and loved ones. I believe stem cells will give me my magic legs. But until then I am in the storm. I do not question my higher power but I do still fight with him sometimes. I believe there are no coincidences in life. I believe I was meant to turn this movie on at that exact moment. I do believe I will make my peace with my higher power and I do believe I will have my magic legs. I just have to wait. I’ve been waiting for 20 years I can wait a few more….
The colors I live in
Not my country
This is the porch of the beautiful apartment I stayed at in Mexico last month. This place felt more like my country than my country does now.
Not my country
This is not my country. My country was founded on immigrants and people coming to this land to better themselves and their families. This is not my country. I just read a story about two parents from Iran who are being detained at LAX because of their ethnicities. They were on their way to visit their daughter. Her father is very ill and requires medication. She has no idea how he is or how he and his wife are being treated. Anywhere to over a hundred refugees are now detained at airports across the America. People are protesting everywhere. Those protesters Are My People. Those refugees Are My People. All Races and all walks of life are my people. But as long as we have a dictator in control of our country this is not my country. He must be impeached. He must be stopped. He does not represent all of us and to the rest of the world he does. The world hates us right now. If we didn’t have enough countries hating us before, now the enter world hates us. I do not know about you, but I do not like being hated. ESpecially for things I have no control over. I did not vote for him I did my part. But I don’t care what party you belong to, what is going on in this country is Wrong. And you know it. Do not just stick by the Republican attitude; I have to stick with my party. This is not about party lines ,this is about Humanity. Who are we to keep people from coming to our great land? You Are My People. You have the choice. You are The Voice. Take back our country. I don’t know what this place has become ;but this is not my country.
Chemotherapy fog
Chemotherapy fog
May cognition is really bad it’s gotten much worse since I had chemotherapy. I keep asking my husband to buy me a universal remote and then I keep losing it or replacing it. I’d like to think that there’s a ghost are really nice spirit who is playing a trick on me but I know it’s just my brain. All of my multiple sclerosis mental symptoms have gotten worse since I came home. But no worries this is to be expected. And when the chemo fog all leaves, I should have better cognition. However in the meantime, my husband keeps hearing where did I put this ,where is this, where is this ,who is this ,who is that? it must be awfully annoying to people. On the bright side my hair is starting to grow back in. I never lost those damn eyebrows LOL. God bless being a Carpathian because not losing all of your hair is very rare and that is the only place I didn’t lose it. So anyways that’s my update for the day. Have any of you seen my television remote? I think my cognition is much worse. I guess I will go ask my husband. By the way have you seen my remote?
Check out those eyebrows that neverleft!
I’m sorry.
I am sorry.
I deleted the last Blog because someone took it personally. That is never my intention, with any of my blogs. My blogs are always meant for all of humanity. I would never single out a certain person. Things happen in my life ,like they happen in other people’s lives, that make me think of things and then I write a blog about it. For example, it was a Blog about how everyone tells me what to do with my multiple sclerosis. I know I must be quarantine for a while due to my stem cells growing. I need to give my body time to grow a new immune system. Meanwhile, people seem to know what I need to do while I’m letting my immune system grow. No caffeine. No granulated white sugar. No uncooked vegetables. No restaurant food for three months. Certain drugs I should go back on ,or certain drugs I should try that may help me more. Get lots of sleep. I have severe insomnia and I like the night time. I cannot live without my two cups of coffee in the morning. I am addicted to sugar and I cannot help it. I am always hungry late at night and I eat the most then. I’m not supposed to smoke. I am working on that one especially. The point is ,in life I know people mean well. I still need to feel like I’m having a life. My life for six years has been the floor of my bedroom. I just can’t wait for stem cells to start working and to be able to move around my house. I love you all so much including my doctors. But I can’t always listen to all of you. My life would be absolutely miserable. I know I am supposed to catheterize. I’ve been supposed to for over 10 years. But I am more comfortable wearing pads and taking my risk. My bladder has been working better, which gives me hope that perhaps the stem cells are beginning to work. But in the meantime ,I am sorry but my vices probably will continue. Please forgive me. I know it is wrong ,but I has to feel like I’m living. So I cheat a little.
Peace and love Laurelin
