A deathly experience?

June 26th 2018 my heart stopped beating. I am told that Lourdes Hospital worked on me for 10 minutes. For over ten minutes I had no . I was for all intents and purposes, dead. It has taken me many months since my heart started beating, to piece together what are real memories and what are false. I had many hallucinations when I was in a coma for six days. However, something happened during those 10 minutes when my heart was not beating. This is my experience.

I was in the ICU. But it was unlike any other I see you. I had the feeling that I was in a civil war military tent. The top of the room was a tent top. And it was all white. And the walls of the room were all white. The weirdest part was that the walls and the ceiling billowed and moved like they were sheets in the wind. Nothing in this room had substance. I had doctors working on me, but they completely ignored me. No one would listen to my words! I was trying to scream that I was alive, but no one would listen. There was also a priest who was uttering words over me. These words were not in English. The closest thing I can think of was that it sounded like Aramaic? Of course I have no idea what Aramaic sounds like oh, but that was the feeling I had. I saw that he was reading me my last right, for I have had my last rights read to me before but this was different. His voice was booming. It was thunderous. It was very authoritative and he absolutely did not care what I said. It was like I was not there. Or like I wasn’t supposed to be there. He also was only a torso. He hovered high above me. He went back and forth in the air shouting his thunderous voice. On closer examination of the doctors working on me, they were not wearing regular scrubs. I don’t think they were wearing clothes at all. It looked like they were wearing something white. But it did not look like clothing, it look like it was simply their body. They also were ginormous in comparison to normal people. I would estimate they were eight feet high. I know I was not supposed to be here. I knew that these doctors or Angels or whatever they were, were trying to send me back. You see, I don’t think I was on this Earthly plane. Maybe I had a past life in a civil war,? I do not know. All I know is that this experience was real. It was not a hallucination. I had many coma hallucinations while in Albany Medical Center. This was not one of them. I know in my heart that this was an out-of-body experience and that it was not my time yet. That preacher and those doctors, whoever they were, we’re trying to send me back to where I belong. You see it just was not my time yet. There is so much in this life that we cannot nor will we ever understand. I will never understand what happened to me, but I know it happened. The Logical brain will tell you that my brain was just falsely firing synapses and I imagined this moment as I was dying. The Logical brain would be wrong in this case. I have learned from this experience to always trust your gut. I have learned to always be a good person. Live by the Golden Rule. Religious and does not matter. I am sure if I had been Jewish I would have seen a rabbi and not a priest. I do not think spirituality has anything to do with religion. This life does have a purpose. I do not know what it is, but I know that there is purpose in everything we do. So make what you do be part of the solution and not part of the problem. Do not doubt yourself. People can tell me all they want that this experience did not happen but I know it did. I know in my heart that it was not my time to leave this Earthly plane. And because of something I was brought back. And I will live the rest of my life being grateful and trying to give back what I have been given.

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

I have watch this damn movie at least 10 times. O Brother, Where Art Thou? I am an analyzer. I like to analyze things. And my first interpretation of this movie was the same one I have today. This movie is obviously a theological discussion. It is obviously about if you have lived a good life or a bad life. Are the souls that are in prison truly all Criminal? I understand that this movie is supposedly deep, and supposedly touches upon questions that we Ponder ourselves. Where are we from? Who are we? Why are we here? But they have to tell you honestly, that watching this movie will not answer any of those questions. And you are left just as perplexed as you were before you watch did the movie. Because I died on June 26th 2017, I truly have a new outlook on life. What life is about. And what life is for. And what we should or should not do with the time we have left. My daughter is only 8 years old. And yes I have had the sex talk with her. Only in terms that an eight-year-old can understand, but yes I have had it. Why you may ask me? Because I truly understand that your heart can stop beating at anytime. And therefore you should see the things you want to before you die. Because you never know when that might be. Trust me, your heart can stop beating anytime. And I wanted to make sure that my daughter got the bees and the birds talk from me and did not from her peers. This way I know I have done one great thing. My point is, my friends, that you should not wait in life for the right moment. There is no right moment. There is only right now. What have you been putting off that needs to be done? I say do it! Do it today and do it proudly. O Brother, Where Art Thou? I have no idea where your brother is, but I know that my brothers are in California and Vermont and one is in New York. The Theology of it all I leave for another day.

There is an after

After my heart stopped beating, and I was in a coma, I had many different experiences in my mind. I had many dreams that became my reality. For a long time I could not distinguish what was not real and what was real. 4 months I had to ask my husband if this happened or if it was in my mind. One of these strange things that happened, I am sure was real. I was in the ICU. However it was like a tent as if I was in the Civil War in a civil war Hospital. It was white. The top and the sides of the room were white like white sheets. I was in there lying in my hospital bed, when very strange things began to happen. For one, the doctor is taking care of me we’re not doctors that I had ever seen. None of them seemed concerned with me or anything that I tried to other to them. They were very focused on keeping me alive. There was a priest in the room. He was reading me my last rights. He had a son duras blooming voiced that no matter how hard you try not to listen, his words resounded in your head. I wanted to scream at him that I was still alive. But I was not ready to die. I did not know that my heart had stopped being and technically I was already dead. He ignored my looks of Wonder and continued to spell off his rhetoric. I realize now that this was not a real place. Although I did struggle with my husband in telling him it was so real. The priest had no legs. He was simply a torso and the head hovering high above me while he recited his rhetoric. My husband told me to listen to what I was saying and it would tell me that it was not real. After my heart. Feeding, and I was in a coma, I had many different experiences in my mind. I had many dream that became my reality. For a long time I could not distinguished what was not real and what was real. 4 months I had to ask my husband if this happened or if it was in my mind. One of these strange things that happened, I am sure was real. I was in the ICU. However it was like a tent as if I was in the Civil War in a civil war hospital. It was white. The top and the size of the room wear white like white sheet. I was in there laying in my hospital bed, when very strange things began to happen. For one, the doctor is taking care of me we’re not doctors that I had ever seen. None of them seems concerned with me or anything that I tried to other two them. They were very focused on keeping me alive. There was a priest in the room. He was reading me my last right. He had a thunder assuming boys that no matter how hard you try not to listen, his words resulted in your head. I wanted to scream at him that I was still alive. But I was not ready to die. I did not know that my heart has stopped being and technically I was already dead. She ignored my looks of Wonder and continued to spell off his Frederick. I realize now that this was not a real place. Although I did struggle with my husband in telling him it was so real. The priest had no legs. He was simply 8 or so and ahead hovering high above me while he recital his rhetoric. My husband told me to listen to what I was saying and it would tell me that it was not real. But he told me that he thought perhaps I was experience thing and after life experience. I believe that my husband was correct. This was a place that was not Earthly yet not in a place like heaven either. It was a strange experience in between Earth and somewheres else. I don’t know how to explain it otherwise. It was so real that I struggle with believing that this moment was in my head. I truly believe it was not. The doctors working on me, we’re not Earthly. I do not know if they were Angels or what they were but they were something. I had no heartbeat when I had this experience. I truly believe that it was after life. It was so surreal that I cannot forget it. I truly feel that this experience was to tell me that there is an afterlife. Something that I have struggled with for my entire life. Whether you believe it is just energy. Or Heaven or Hell. Or what you want to believe there is something greater than ourselves. It was very comforting to me. And now I am no longer afraid of death. For I have already died and I have come back. I know there is in the after. What it is I cannot tell you. I believe it is different for everyone. If I had been Jewish the priest probably would have been a rabbi. Whatever these strange unearthly doctors were, they were there to help me. It was not my time yet. And I came back. But I am left with the feeling that I almost Miss. I miss being in the after. But I have so much in this life to look forward to. And my daughter is only 8 years old. She needs a mother. So I came back. And I believe it is my duty to share with others my experience. Take from it what you want. For me it was a blessing and comfort. I believe that my husband was correct. This was a place that was not earthly yet not in a place to like heaven either. It was a strange experience in between Earth and somewheres out. I don’t know how to explain it otherwise. It was so real that I struggle with believing that this moment was in my head. I truly believe it was not. The doctors working on me, we’re not asleep. I do not know if they were angels or what they were but they were something. I had no heartbeat when I had this experience. I truly believe that it was after life. It was so surreal that I cannot forget it. I truly feel that this experience was to tell me that there is an after life. Something that I have struggled with for my entire life. Whether you believe it is just energy. Or heaven or hell. Or what you want to believe there is something graders than ourself. It was very comforting to me. And now I am no longer afraid of death. For I have already died and I have come back. I know there is an after. What it is I cannot tell you. I believe it is different for everyone. If I had been Jewish the priest probably would have been a rabbi. Whatever’s these strange on earthly doctors work, they were there to help me. It was not my time yet. And I came back. But I am left with the feeling that I almost missed. I missed being in the after. But I have so much in this life to look forward to. And my daughter is only 8 years old. She needs a mother. So I came back. And I believe it is my duty to share with others my experience. Take from it what you want. For me it was a blessing and comforting. There is an after. Do not this may. There is something greater than your early body. I see that my blog is beginning to duplicate itself. Now back on this Earthly plane, I am left to deal with a voice application that constantly screws up. I apologize to you, my friends, I hope you did read this and you can see what I am trying to say even through the duplications. Hopefully someday I can type again. But until them I am left to be at the mercy of my voice application. I love you all and I hope that you can appreciate that death is nothing to fear. It is a comfortable place. It is not something we should fear. There is an after.