Progressive…is not always good.

I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis on my 18th birthday. Happy birthday to me.

They called it relapsing/remitting. Will have flare ups,but can heal!

I was diagnosed with optic neuritis then, I could not see.

Vision came back;but the price was unreal.

From a spinal tap, I had spinal fluid leaking on my brain.

From IV steroids gained 50lbs and got stretch marks galore.

I cried at my prom and after party; from all the pain

I didn’t even fit in my prom dress anymore.

Then…You are so lucky, It’s a new m.s. drug!

Only 50% of people that took it,took there own life;

We think they just needed a hug;

Have no fear, have no strife!

Slit my wrists on wonder drug, Betaseron.

Now in college;fuck doctors-self medicate!

Found out later there was no help from wonder drugs classed interferon.

New drug,called Repif! It is great!

Too bad injection sites swelled and got infected.

Don’t care,on cocaine now.and sometimes booze.

M.S. stops remitting now diagnosed just Multiple Sclerosis.

New drug called copaxon! My brain is totally confused.

Diagnosed depressed.anxiety.bunch of other prognosis.

Snort another line.Graduate. get sober.

Unfortunately,These 7 years are lost from drug induced haze.

Meet amazing man when I’m older,

Life is good.get engaged, heart’s ablaze!

Blessed with a child, docs said not to have.

Warned of m.s. attack;this one will be bad!

Had her anyways. Named her Faith; our miracle!

3 months later,can’t walk. can’t hold her.It’s so sad.

Thought they’d be wrong,so now my company is lyrical…

Poems that is. no one likes to see the ill.

Hate to tell ya,but we are all gonna die one day,

But people ignore this fact still.

I know what’s killing me,I’m lucky you’d say,

I got that worry out of the way!

I’m pissed though,for years they have lied;

this med,that med,even fentanol I tried!

Finally, a diagnosis that is sad,yet,impressive.

My M.S. is not relapsing/remitting; but progressive.

This week I try new experimental med;

There is not much left they can do to my head!

So neurologists, FDA, specialists, I beg you, instead;

Let me live and let live. Enjoy life before I’m dead!

Or at least admit it-“you’re an experiment” they said.

At least with this truth I can soundly go to bed.





2 thoughts on “Progressive…is not always good.

  1. Wonderfully written poem 🙌I know where you are coming from, thou’ not MS, doctor runaround all my adult life……sorry you have had to endure so much!


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