My three dads. A short Memoir into my life.

I first grew up with both of my parents in the foothill of the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee. We had no running water. Nor did we have electricity or a bathroom. But when you are little you have your imaginations and innocent still and where you grow up seems great no matter how old you are. At age 4 I did realize we were poor when ,I saw other people have phones ,and electricity, and bathrooms , and color television!

Age four my parents got a divorce. And I move to New York to live with my second dad who was my first step father. To me he had a castle. I felt like we were rich. I had a big room. Which now I know as I’ve seen it is just a regular size bedroom. But we had color television. A phone. And two bathrooms. I did not know you could have two bathrooms in a house! My memories of him are wonderful. He was a great man. And we went on many ,many ,many family vacations. I also got my first brother as he had a son, who was five years older than me. Unfortunately  ,the way things go they, had a very short and complacent divorced when I was almost 14 years old that.

The exact same year my father decided to move to Hawaii with his new girlfriend and my new baby brother. Growing up with my second dad I saw my father have many girlfriends and I did slightly feel abandoned. He did of course , ask me if it was okay if he moved there. But of course I gave him the answer I knew he wanted because he’s my dad. So I told him yes. I still visited him on Summers and looking back they were the greatest moments of my life and I can’t wait to visit Hawaii again with my biological father when my multiple sclerosis gets better due to Stem Cell treatment. But I was a brat at age 16 and 14 and when he lived in Hawaii instead of enjoying what I should have enjoyed, I was pining away over my boyfriends in New York. I was a popular cheerleader ,had lots of friends ,and I didn’t care that I was in Paradise!

So in one year I felt like I had lost my first dad, that I lost my second dad  , only to get one that I hated. My young brother that they brought to Hawaii help me to reunite with my father at age 27. After I was out of rehab and just barely dry of chemicals. Since then we have had a wonderful relationship. And I never stopped loving him for he is my father. I still very much love my second father and I see him as often as I can and my step brother, who is a real brother to me. My third father I now have a great relationship with. And I love him very much. He even signs my cards now dad. He had three children that growing up we all hated each other but slowly became siblings so I am blessed to have two half-brothers and one half sister by my father and my stepmother. And I am blessed to have to step brothers and one step sister by my third dad. And one step brother from my second dad. Are you confused yet? If I told you about all the women it would be even more confusing but for now let’s stick with the dads. So I have three fathers. But the one parent that has always been there has been my mother. And for that reason I did not have my biological father at my wedding. Which I do feel terrible about but at the same time I feel my mother deserve to get to give me away and get the wedding of her dreams. What I have not talked about is that I am blessed not only to have siblings by all three of my father’s but I have learned such valuable things from all three of them. From my biological father I know more about nature than the person reading this. I guarantee it. Even with my multiple sclerosis if I was stuck in the wilderness I would survive. I know what to eat. I know how to find water. I know how to make a tent out of a rope and a tarp. I know how to build a good fire as long as I have Flame or Flint. I have learned so much about Wilderness from My real father. My second father taught me how to be a good mother. He was so kind. He never hit me. He would say he was going to punish me but he always fell through and didn’t. He was a big softy. And I love him so very much. My third father taught me that you can’t get away with everything. And that someone is always on to you. As he knew I have been a drug addict for many years and my mom just would not listen. So when people ask who my father is I say I have three of them and they say I don’t understand. And the best way I can explain it to them is I have a biological father who I call my dad. And when I was little he was my daddy. But for all intents and purposes we will call him my father. My second dad is more like my daddy. As he brushed off more skinned knees ,and kissed boo-boos, than the other three because he grew up with me during that time. My third father is more like my dad. As he had to deal with the teenage me. Which was probably the worst of all of the me’s. But today we have a wonderful relationship and I love him very much. I did at one time in college and right after have a lot of anger at my biological father. It’s none of his three children he had later wherever hit or spanked or believed in corporal punishment on your child I don’t know if that’s the right word but when I was little I was hit. And I remember and that is why today I will never put a hand on my child. My husband believes in spanking and I let him but I don’t like it. So those are my three dads. The funny thing is my biological father is very musically inclined as well as my mother and that is what brought them together and my third father is very musically inclined and that is what brought him in my mother together. I don’t know what brought my mother and my second father together but probably, my mom just wanted to get the hell out of Tennessee, and wanted to have a normal life for me.

 So there is a short piece of my life for you. It’s better than the show my three dads. Because I really do have three dads. And I love them all very much more than the three of them will probably ever know. And I have learned so much from all three of them, and I have had a great life ,even with the multiple scletrosis and the drug addictions and all I’ve been through I have three dads. And people are lucky if they only have one. So I’m not going to bitch, I just wanted to share with you a piece of my life.

And my daughter has 4 grandfathers. I was lucky to have one with multiple sclerosis that I only got to meet a few times. So I don’t come from a broken home. I come from a big home full of love.

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