Walls

Robert Frost wrote quote “walls make good neighbors.” Like most of his poems this is ironic.Walls do not make good neighbors ,walls make isolated Neighbors. Have we learned nothing from the Berlin Wall? We don’t want to divide family and friends. We don’t want to divide cultures and people. Of course I am talking about the wall between Mexico and the United States. I am very much against it. What a bunch of wasted money. Why not instead hire More border patrol? This creates more  jobs and brings more money into our country ,instead of money going into a wall. The Mexican president said quote “Mexico does not believe in walls.” The Mexican government is corrupt but good for him. None of us should believe in walls. Especially a country that is found it under the idea of e pluribus unum. Yes we need better immigration laws and control. But I say again, have  more emigration leaders to Patrol who gets allowed into the country  ,again creating more jobs. Once you start dividing people,  you divide Humanity.I am very against anything that corrupt Humanity. As a person who has recently visited Mexico I must say it is a beautiful country. The people ,the culture and the respect we received was beyond compare. I don’t know if we as Americans would give the same respect to a visiting Mexican, and that is sad.. Viva La Mexico and Viva Estados unidos and Viva El Mundo. Yes long live the world. There are no real boundaries. It is something that man creates. Do you think a wolf or cares about boundaries? Do you think the oak tree or the river cares about boundaries? After we are long and gone nature still won’t care about boundaries and neither should we. We are a nation that needs to be more accepting ,or at least follow my ideas. We are a people as a human race, that needs to be more accepting. It’s time to break down fences, not build them up. I think that is what Robert Frost would want. And it is what I want too.

Peace and love Laurelin 

Most important day in stem cells in Mexico

Today I find out what my blood my white blood cell count is. If it is going up to 4,000 I am no longer in the neuropedic stage. Which means I can eat normal food. Because the food they gave me is like space food, it comes and these weird plastic containers and you heat them up with water ,and they taste like sawdust. It also means that I can go out in public as long as I wear a mask. I am so sick of sitting in this apartment ,you wouldn’t believe it. Thought I Loved Netflix, until it was all I had to watch. So last night when I went to bed I mentally thought about my white blood cells dividing and creating more white blood cells, in hopes that I will have enough to go off the neuroPedic diet.It also means that I can get one of the six shots that I need throughout the year to help my bone marrow. Which will help my stem cells to grow faster. Right now my multiple sclerosis is about at Baseline. So that means I can walk with a walker short distances. I am very nervous about today’s meeting and I am really hoping that my white blood cell count has gone up enough. This has been an amazing experience and it is my last chance at really helping my multiple sclerosis to get better. Stem cells should be legal in America for so many illnesses. We need to get away from the pharmaceutical companies. And now that we’re going to have mr. Trump in office it’s only going to get worse. He is not in any way supportive of science I am sure. He is more concerned with business and money. Hillary Clinton should be the president anyway she got more votes. And the only reason that mr. Trump even got elected it is because of Russia. He better be careful or he is going to start another cold war between the people of America and the people of Russia. If he thinks in any way that he is going to bring us together by his business tactics he is wrong. We are stronger and wiser than that. Let us all hope that this doesn’t happen but right now I cannot think about what is going on in the United States of America. For right now I have to worry about myself. So let’s all keep our fingers crossed that today will be a good day and my white blood cell count will be up. I really miss my daughter and my home and my cats. Even though I’m not allowed to touch the cats. I will need a caregiver for a few months, as my white blood cells grow and my multiple sclerosis may actually be worse for a few months. But that is to be expected. I just can’t wait to be in take a shit on my own. Such little things in life we take for granted. I hold my stem cells start to work quickly but it’s different for everyone. I may not see any definitive good results for a year. But some people have seen results as early as 3 weeks to 3 months. It is possible that because of chemo I may go into early menopause. Which I’m truly hoping and praying does not happen. All these things we take for granted. But I know  everything is out of my control and it is in the higher Powers control. Let’s just hope that he or she or it likes me. I’ll post my results in the blood maybe today or tomorrow. Wish me luck my Humanity friends!

Peace and love Laurelin

Christmas alone without family

Blowes. It does it just simply blows. Yes I am here to get stem cells but I will not see any true results for about a year. Until then it is like being on a roller coaster. I have very good days like I did yesterday. And they have extremely bad days where I’m below Baseline like I did today. I miss my daughter I miss my cats I miss my home. I miss my state of New York even though it’s extremely cold there right now. You should be happy it’s 70 some 


Degrees here. Where I live it’s snowing and freezing and causes my multiple sclerosis to flare up. But then I’m not happy. It blows. How can you be happy on the holiday this meant for family and friends and presents and a Christmas tree when you have none of those. I do have my husband here as a caregiver. And I have to be grateful for that. And I have to be grateful that this is my last chance at perhaps having a better life. And I have to be grateful that I’m still alive. That I have a home to come home to. That I have a daughter and family to come home to. Well now I just feel like an asshole after writing all of that. But it’s still a very unnerving unsettling feeling. To be happy and yet miserable at the same time. I am usually a very upbeat person. I love Humanity I love everyone and I never show hatred. But I hate being away from my loved ones. But I love the chance to perhaps improve my life and their lives. It is a conundrum. It is a total oxymoron. I do not know how I am supposed to feel. All I know is on the other side of the country it’s not Christmas anymore. So I will pretend I’m there. I will pretend it’s a year from now and I can walk. I will pretend that all of this hell I have lived for the last 18 years will be worth something. I will pretend that I will be a teacher again. And I will go on as I always do with hope in my heart and love for Humanity. 4 is that not all we can do? We just have to Keep On Truckin. So that’s what I will do Keep On Truckin. And not to be cliche but the Grateful Dead suck. I just like the line Keep On Truckin. so do to you on this Christmas Day. May peace and love be with you and guide your heart. And allow yourself to remember that sometimes it just blows.

Peace and love Laurelin 

Stem cells in Mexico day 2

I am beyond beyond exhausted today. Had to get up very early. Had to help my heart and lab work where they took more blood than any lab work I’ve ever had. Urine test. Chest x-rays. And an MRI of my spine. So today was quite a long day for me. Tomorrow is going to be an even earlier and longer day. I start chemo on Friday and I am very looking forward to that because chemotherapy alone has helped many people just to get rid of their immune system. After I am done with chemo then we’ll take stem cells from me and then replace them in me. After that I’m supposed to just stay in the apartment and do nothing so that my immune system can grow and I cannot leave or be around anyone that could possibly have a bug or influenza. So things are going pretty well I am just exhausted and fatigued as most people with multiple sclerosis would be if they had a long day I had today. I will continue to keep you all posted. Thank you for caring and I look forward to seeing you back in America when I leave Mexico. Peace and love Laurelin