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My cat woke me up this morning. She said to me in a human voice “wake up I want food”. I looked at her and said how are you speaking in English to me you are a cat. I must still be dreaming. My cat shook his head and said “we can all speak English we just choose not to”. So I got up and I gave her some food. She said ” thank you very much”. Still confused I went back to bed. Thinking this must have been a very strange dream. When I awoke an hour later my cat said to me “get out of bed lazy bones it’s time to play.” Am I still dreaming? Or do I simply have the smartest cat in the world? He then looked deep in my eyes and telepathically said” kill him”. Iresponded and amazed how can this be happening but again the cat looked me straight in the eyes and telepathically said” kill him”. I told my cat I am a pacifist I do not believe in killing other creatures what do you expect me to do? Fat Cat replied with his eyes “kill him”. Thinking I was losing my mind I thought of calling my psychiatrist. But who would believe such craziness? I was home all alone and had no one to tell. No one to show this miracle too. Although it’s slightly frightened me that my cat Could Be A Serial murderer or through the use of telekinesis. I locked all the doors look through the house and under all the beds and saw no one so asking again who am I supposed to kill!? All he did was stare back into my eyes and say with his eyes “kill him.” I thought maybe I just need a Xanax and a bath. I must be losing my mind. As I sat in the bathtub I heard a very small crash  coming through my kitchen window. Put on a towel,  and very quietly and cautiously walked toward the kitchen. My cat stood in the living room holding a knife in her mouth. With her eyes he looked at me and said” kill him”. I took the knife and carefully walked into the kitchen. I found a strange man halfway in my window and halfway out my window. I told him,” I have a knife and I am not afraid to use it please leave my house.” He continued to enter and I stabbed him I stabbed him over and over again in the stomach. The next thing I remember was waking up and my cat saying in English to me” I want food.”

Happy 4th, America! It’s been a few hundred years; and we’ve improved a bit. End to slavery. Women’s suffrage. A whole lot more equality. This year, America, you finally put an end to this ‘gays can’t marry’ bs. Unfortunately, we still have lots more prejudice, bigotry, and sexism and racism issues to battle; but you’re doing great, America! Not such a great day for the British history books. Or the native American history books or…- but;hey,we did pretty good this year. I am proud to be an American. I hope you are too. But lest we not forget our sins, America. Maybe someday we can just be ‘humanity’ instead of a ‘country’. But WE are getting there…enjoy your freedom!