multiple sclerosis

1 Comment Posted on MANKIND, multiple sclerosis, Uncategorized

.Stress less

There is no trending issues I have to speak of; but trending itself. I rarely go on facebook.  Mom and doctors orders ,   I  simply can not get stressed. My m.s. gets really bad for days after .So social media/news stresses me out.  I yelled  for the first time in months. The dumbest shit turns into a fight. I  try to keep smiling when your house  and things are a mess. Leaving more stress on everyone else. I’m trying to  be my  blood type B+. be  positive. I can not take anymore negativity.  I can’t  & I won’t. I don’t know how to help myself anymore. My soul is fine. My mind is fine. But this damn body is beyond broken. Any suggestions? There are none but miracles . Yeah, I can’t wait to watch my kid grow up; but I also can’t wait for death. Few more years,Saint Peter. Look forward to meeting  you. No pain. No stress. No nothing but joy. Hell,if I just end up fertilizing daffodils that would be pretty cool too.Try to live stress free. Because it truly might kill you. Peacenlove

L. O’Brien

2 Comments Posted on MANKIND, me, multiple sclerosis

Help!

I am maybe having a flare up of m.s. I know many read my blog for happiness , laughs, and hope. I need some smiles. A little sunshine. And as I do “get by with a little help from my friends,” That means YOU. so drop me a line of happiness!!Here, on my blog; or social media. We need to help each other. Thanks all. peace and love,
L. O’Brien

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I’m not Political

I’m not political; I’m just always right.
I respect your opinion; However I don’t agree.
I’m not a party, faction, nor picking a fight.
I just feel and think that we are all free!
I have no time for those that disagree.
I only encourage HUMANITY.
..to do what you feel is right.
(If that means violence,prejudice,or oppression)-get out of my sight!
I love my planet. My land and democracy.
Last of all VOTE, and especially…
Vote Bernie Sanders! If not for you, do it for me!
p.s. won’t you help this poet whom can’t walk? Sorry, m.s. humor!!! VOTE

1 Comment Posted on me, multiple sclerosis

Out of the mouths’ of babes

my daughter just put my face in her hands and said, “I’m sorry you have m.s. You are sad that you can’t drive or play with me. It’s okay; some people have m.s. like you.” She is almost five. What do you say to that? That right there is empathy. What a beautiful representation of humanity. Let’s all put someones’ different shoes on and ‘walk’ in them. Let’s strive to be more human. Peace n love
L. O’Brien

1 Comment Posted on me, multiple sclerosis

Laurelin f*#%ing O’Brien

I will never give up. Never surrender. So stem cells haven’t helped my disease,YET. There is a famous speech in The Hunger Games (movie version) about hope. That no matter what you do to people, as long as there is hope; they can rise up against anything. This is true. I lost my hope a few days ago. Reflected, meditated and concluded…my hope for a cure is lost. this thought was scary,and unlike me.. I am Laurelin fucking O’Brien!!! I never give up. Never surrender. Even when all I have on the chess board is my king. He will not tip over. Bring it on m.s.,nature,genes, God. You have messed with the wrong girl. Take my cognition. My grey matter. My IQ. So what I’m now average. I don’t trust those tests anyways. So my hope is back. STRONGER. Death can’t even defeat me. I’m a case study. So again, bring it on. I’ve already won. HOPE is there;and it’s deadly. I got this. I win.

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Dear Diary

REMEMBER THOSE? Still have my old ones. My penmanship was beautiful Now I can’t write, but at least I Have those nice memories. I can’t see the computer screen well, and typing this is a nightmare. But I need proof of my existence. Some where to complain & share my emotions with.so…..
Dear Blog,
Last night my husband revealed to me that stem cells don’t hep progressive m.s. I was starting to research a doctor for myself that would perform a stem cell procedure on me. My husband didn’t want to tell me. I see why; I’m crying, depressed, and out of hope.I guess I just want some way to vent. To feel cuz I ain’t feelin; so good& I doubt things can get worse…But they can. And they will. I’ve got progressive m.s. FUCK~“~I can’t deal. But I must. Its my trial/weight to carry. There’s no why? No answers. Just questions that haunt me. I don ‘t know if I will link this to social media. I don’t want pity or love or prayers. I WANT A FUCKING CURE. L.O’Brien

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No I’m not.

I’m not paranoid. I just don’t think you like me. I don’t get invited to your little get togethers;that I’m not supposed to know about. It’s tough being friends with me, you say I can’t keep secrets. I apologies, I’m not a good liar. But hey, I don’t lie! I don’t want to be abused, lied to, hurt. I hold onto my friends so dearly; as I can’t walk, dance or drive. However I don’t need your pity. I don’t need fake in my life. Reality is hard enough. I’m not paranoid. Just a little pissed.M.S. is worse than anything you could possibly throw at me…..I’m not paranoid.

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social media, faacebook & the great world connection

As the tittle reads; the internet has made it so everyone is connected. But is this a reality worth it? Recently I called all my old “close” friends; two answered. Some answered texts; on face book they often unfriend me. No ‘why’,No anything but with one click, I cease to exist in their world, On facebook I have hundreds of friends. If I post something they don’t like; they don’t explain; they start a facebook war.Opinions ranting, not fact based.I do not feel connected but hurt. I’ve been cyber bullied by a close old friend with no explanation except a “blocked” click of the computer mouse. And social media is so wonderful. Yes, it is in some ways. But is it worth all the pain, heart ache, paranoia, spying, fear it can create? I don’ t know anymore. However, being ‘unfriended’ this morning really hurt. So I took a Xanax. It’s kicking in. So I will ignore it and read a book. Books are safe. On the internet I am in a “little box”. Read my poem “little boxes” and you’ll understand and I bet you will go read a book too.

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Not for sale

Sneaky telemarketers keep calling me. To sponsor this site. Put higher on search engines. Or buy domain! I am not trying to make money. This site is simply for me to deal with life. Life is hard and painful. People need to vent,communicate, heal. My body, mind, domain, blogs, thoughts are not for sale. They are free

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Out to lunch

I’d like to talk with a supervisor. He is out to lunch. I’d like to file a complaint. No one’s going to read it. I think the doc was wrong. You can’t prove it. I’m pretty sure someone is telling a lie. (They always do.)…I’m starting to think my opinion does not matter. (honey, it never has, and never will) So how do I leave my mark? Show that I care? How do I matter and teach others? (Fine. Exactly-How can I help you?) I’m sorry, I’m out to lunch.