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Source: Dear Diary
Dear Diary
REMEMBER THOSE? Still have my old ones. My penmanship was beautiful Now I can’t write, but at least I Have those nice memories. I can’t see the computer screen well, and typing this is a nightmare. But I need proof of my existence. Some where to complain & share my emotions with.so…..
Dear Blog,
Last night my husband revealed to me that stem cells don’t hep progressive m.s. I was starting to research a doctor for myself that would perform a stem cell procedure on me. My husband didn’t want to tell me. I see why; I’m crying, depressed, and out of hope.I guess I just want some way to vent. To feel cuz I ain’t feelin; so good& I doubt things can get worse…But they can. And they will. I’ve got progressive m.s. FUCK~“~I can’t deal. But I must. Its my trial/weight to carry. There’s no why? No answers. Just questions that haunt me. I don ‘t know if I will link this to social media. I don’t want pity or love or prayers. I WANT A FUCKING CURE. L.O’Brien
No I’m not.
I’m not paranoid. I just don’t think you like me. I don’t get invited to your little get togethers;that I’m not supposed to know about. It’s tough being friends with me, you say I can’t keep secrets. I apologies, I’m not a good liar. But hey, I don’t lie! I don’t want to be abused, lied to, hurt. I hold onto my friends so dearly; as I can’t walk, dance or drive. However I don’t need your pity. I don’t need fake in my life. Reality is hard enough. I’m not paranoid. Just a little pissed.M.S. is worse than anything you could possibly throw at me…..I’m not paranoid.
Rainbow
Source: Rainbow
social media, faacebook & the great world connection
As the tittle reads; the internet has made it so everyone is connected. But is this a reality worth it? Recently I called all my old “close” friends; two answered. Some answered texts; on face book they often unfriend me. No ‘why’,No anything but with one click, I cease to exist in their world, On facebook I have hundreds of friends. If I post something they don’t like; they don’t explain; they start a facebook war.Opinions ranting, not fact based.I do not feel connected but hurt. I’ve been cyber bullied by a close old friend with no explanation except a “blocked” click of the computer mouse. And social media is so wonderful. Yes, it is in some ways. But is it worth all the pain, heart ache, paranoia, spying, fear it can create? I don’ t know anymore. However, being ‘unfriended’ this morning really hurt. So I took a Xanax. It’s kicking in. So I will ignore it and read a book. Books are safe. On the internet I am in a “little box”. Read my poem “little boxes” and you’ll understand and I bet you will go read a book too.
Not for sale
Sneaky telemarketers keep calling me. To sponsor this site. Put higher on search engines. Or buy domain! I am not trying to make money. This site is simply for me to deal with life. Life is hard and painful. People need to vent,communicate, heal. My body, mind, domain, blogs, thoughts are not for sale. They are free
Out to lunch
I’d like to talk with a supervisor. He is out to lunch. I’d like to file a complaint. No one’s going to read it. I think the doc was wrong. You can’t prove it. I’m pretty sure someone is telling a lie. (They always do.)…I’m starting to think my opinion does not matter. (honey, it never has, and never will) So how do I leave my mark? Show that I care? How do I matter and teach others? (Fine. Exactly-How can I help you?) I’m sorry, I’m out to lunch.
HAPPY 4TH OF JULY
Happy 4th, America! It’s been a few hundred years; and we’ve improved a bit. End to slavery. Women’s suffrage. A whole lot more equality. This year, America, you finally put an end to this ‘gays can’t marry’ bs. Unfortunately, we still have lots more prejudice, bigotry, and sexism and racism issues to battle; but you’re doing great, America! Not such a great day for the British history books. Or the native American history books or…- but;hey,we did pretty good this year. I am proud to be an American. I hope you are too. But lest we not forget our sins, America. Maybe someday we can just be ‘humanity’ instead of a ‘country’. But WE are getting there…enjoy your freedom!
Who are you?
Who are you?
Passing law school; does not a lawyer make. You must pass the bar. Being an English teacher does not a scholar make. You ain’t got no grasp on grammar. Prescribing medications does not a doctor make. You forgot I have m.s. and anxiety; and I might carry a gun. (not such a good doctor now,huh?) Being kind; does not a friend make. You forgot my birthday and don’t answer the phone. Reading poetry; does not a poet make. You have never written one. Helping without a ‘thank you’; does a hero make. Grace before pride; does a spiritual man make. Thinking before you speak; does a wise man make. Breathing; does not a life make. You must LIVE.
