multiple sclerosis
Miles to go before I sleep
” these Woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep. and miles to go before I sleep .and miles to go before I sleep.”- Robert Frost. I used to think about that all the time. Wondering when, and how I would leave this earth. I always figured I’d be lucky for anything after 50. I had days to go before I slept. I had moment to moment before I slept in less than two weeks and now I leave for Mexico. I have a whole new journey in life to look forward to. I never thought with my multiple sclerosis there could ever be any help or care. For all the terrible medications I took, that didn’t do anything at all finally I see hope. I am all kinds of emotions right now. It’s very scary and very exciting. I will lose all of my hair and I absolutely don’t care! Finally there are miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep….
16 days until a stem cell
16 days
16 days until I go to Mexico
16 days
16 days until it doesn’t matter if I’m off aubagio
16 days
I miss walking with a walker. I miss not crawling on the floor
16 days
Then I will not need my medicine anymore
16 days
My multiple sclerosis is kicking my ass
16 days
Till I hope and pray it will be a thing of the past
16 days…
I still feel the same way
Is blood thicker than water?
Is blood thicker than water?
- I have many blood relatives that mean more to me than anything. I have water relatives that mean more to me than anything. Sometimes I wonder which is which and which is more important. Honestly, I do not know. I am part of the O’Brien family. I am part of the Walker family. I am part of the Bacorn family. I belong to the Herz Family . I belonged to the Stephens Family. I feel like at times, I like one family more than the other. But I know in my heart I love them all equally. Sometimes I do wonder what it would be like to not be from a broken home. But then I think if I wasn’t from a broken home I wouldn’t have all these wonderful families in my life. It is a difficult subject for me as you never want to piss off anyone in your family. But when you come from five different families this question of blood versus water is impossible to answer. You can’t help but Wonder. But then you feel terrible for even wondering. After I get stem cells I plan on writing a memoir. Mostly about my life with multiple sclerosis.I have had symptoms of multiple sclerosis as early as the shots I was given as a baby. I realized when you write a memoir you must give a little bit of a backstory. However, I worry so much that I will piss off someone from one of my family. But I will be honest to the extent of what I remember and try not to piss anyone off. For me, I guess the only answer is blood and water does not make a difference. It is who you are that makes a difference. It is the lives you touched and the lives that have touched you. I cannot pick a side. I hear so often that blood is thicker than water, and I honestly believe it’s kind of bullshit. I guess I will let you decide for yourself when you read my memoir. But I have a feeling you’ll come to the same conclusion as I have.
Last multiple sclerosis neurologist appointment ever
Last neurologist for multiple sclerosis ever
Yesterday I had my last appointment with my neurologist for multiple sclerosis. He told me he was dropping Me 2 months ago and I was very upset. After speaking with him I realize he is really a wonderful daughter. He gave us suggestions of doctors that will give me the chemotherapy starts he need after I get back from back from Mexico and he’s also wished for me to come in and show the success of my stem cells! He really can’t see me anymore because once I have a new immune system the new immune system will not have multiple sclerosis. So I do have to see a specialist to get those chemotherapy shots and just wait a few years to see how much better I. Get… my husband and I left feeling very happy knowing that there are still some American neurologists out there that are good people. I have heard so many horror stories of neurologist telling their patients if they go to Mexico to see them come back in a body bag. I am serious this has really happened to people. Now that I am not his patient if there are any people with multiple sclerosis looking for a new neurologist please email me as he might have an opening. He was the best neurologist I have ever had. But now I am feeling a little weird and having a lot of anxiety. The past 20 years of my life, I have seen a neurologist for multiple sclerosis every 3 or 6 months. It feels really strange that I don’t have to anymore. But I have a whole new life ahead of me starting at 36! It is a very strange feeling to know that I may not need a neurologist ever again. It is a good feeling but it is also a very scary feeling. Wish me luck on my new Journey one more month till stem cells. I will keep you all posted on how it goes. Peace and love Laurelin O’Brien