I have had my website since 2003. I have shared my journey with multiple sclerosis and addiction and humanitarian issues and I have been lucky enough to get some of you to actually listen to what I say. And I think you for it. When I first got this site it was $16 the next year they raised it to $19 because I was not getting enough ads. It was then that I realized I was a terrible terrible blogger. And I should leave it up to the professionals. I only write as a Blog now because my site is for poetry and short stories. Which I hope and think you have enjoyed throughout the years and I hope you will continue to enjoy. I got my bill for this year and it went from $19 down to $17! I am a disabled English teacher money is tough for me $2 goes a long way. But more than that it meant that people are not only reading my stuff but care. Care about humanity. Care about themselves. Cared about me while I was in Mexico getting stem cells. So from the worst blogger in the world to all you great bloggers out there I say a giant thank you. I now have a permanent venue where I read it and it is partially due to you my International and National friends. I love you my sisters and my brothers

Peace and love Laurelin

I do not know how to send this to 3 people other than this way. It is a Blog that won’t be posted it is just written to be sent to the three of you. A few years ago I was so very hurt and upset by a letter that Lori wrote me. I didn’t even think about what other people’s feelings were. Desiree I was not there for you in your time of need because I was consumed with my own feelings. Billy I was not there for you because I was consumed by my own feelings when I should have been sending you wedding presents and calling you. You are my oldest friend in New York state and I did not think about your feelings or what you might be thinking about me and Lori. Desiree I did not think about what you were thinking about me and Lori. Dana I did the same thing to you. I did not even take into account your feelings. All I was thinking about was me. All I was thinking about was what she did to me when I was so sick I was crawling around after an attack. I did not even think about the fact that if someone could write a letter so cruel there had to be feelings behind it. I did not take into account Lawry’s feelings. I did email her and she still never told me why she didn’t want to know me anymore but I at least tried. I am absolutely over it and I absolutely have not only forgiven her but there is something to be said for forgetting it to I will always have great memories of all four of us playing together as children. I will try to cherish these memories and not remember the fact that she hates me and just forgive her and know that I love her in my heart. I ask now and deep true feelings the same from all of you. Please forgive me. I do not know how to send this to 3 people other than this way. It is a blog that won’t be posted it is just written to be sent to the three of you. A few years ago I was so very hurt and upset by a letter that Lori wrote me. I didn’t even think about what other people’s feelings were. Desirae I was not there for you and your time of need because I was consumed with my feelings. Billy I was not there for you because I was consumed by my own feelings when I should’ve been sending you wedding present and calling you. You are my oldest friend in New York state and I did not think about your feelings or what you might be thinking about me and Lori. Desiree I did not think about what you were thinking about me and Lori. Dana I did the same thing to you. I did not even take into account your feelings. All I was thinking about was me. All I was thinking about was what she did to me when I was so sick I was crawling around after an attack. I did not even think about the fact that if someone could write a letter so cruel there had to be feelings behind it. I did not take into account Lori’s feelings. I did email her and she still never told me why she didn’t want to know me anymore but i atleast ride. I am absolutely over it and I absolutely have not only forgiven her but there is something to be said for forgetting it too I will always have great memories of all four of us playing together as children. I will try to cherish these memories and do not remember the fact that she hates me and just forgive her and know that I love her in my heart. I asked now and deep true feelings the same from all of you. Please forgive me. I never even knew you were mad at me Billy because I was so obsessed with Lori and why she would not even let me talk to her. I should have been asking you Dana how are you and your beautiful family? I should have been asking you Desiree how are you doing and how are your kids? I should have been asking you Billie how is married life and how is your daughter doing? And I should have ended all the letters with I love you and I’m so glad I’ve known you for so long. I lost Lori and I am so grateful to have at least two of you back. If I can remember your last name Dana Martin I will try to reach out to you as well and ask your forgiveness as you did absolutely nothing wrong none of you did. I did something wrong. I did not care about your feelings I only cared about mine. And I know I must have done something to Lori and I must not have cared about it or I would not have gotten that I hate you letter. So I am sorry to all of you. Even to Lori whatever I did I am sorry to you as well. But I have to admit that letter was mean and I’m sorry for whatever I did but I didn’t deserve that LOL but Desiree Billie and Dana you did not deserve the treatment I gave any of you. And after I know what it feels like from that letter I should have known better and not treated the three of you the way I did. I apologize for any grammar errors or spelling your name wrong you know my stupid voice app always screws up I just after finally reconnecting with both you Desiree and you Billy my best friend of 32 years 32 years! And I wasn’t even thinking about what was going on with you I am so so so very sorry and I am so glad to have you back in my life and it won’t ever happen again and we will stay connected. And the same for you Desiree I never want to lose you again and I always want you to feel like you can reach out to me for help without thinking that I am just obsessed with that stupid letter. I guess that’s all I have to say I should’ve been asking you Dana how are you and your beautiful family? I should have been asking you Desiree how are you doing and how were your kids? I should have been asking you Billy how is married life and how was your daughter doing? & I should’ve ended all the letters with I love you and I’m so glad I’ve known you for so long. I lost Lori and I am so grateful to have at least two of you back. If I can remember your last name Dana Martin I will try to reach out to you as well and ask your forgiveness as you did absolutely nothing wrong none of you did. I did something wrong. I did not care about your feelings I only cared about my. & I know I must have done something to Lori and I must not have carried about it or I would not have gotten that I hate you letter. So I am sorry to all of you. Even to Lori whatever I did I am sorry to you as well. But I have to lick met that letter was me and I’m sorry for whatever I did but I didn’t deserve that lol but Desiree Billy and Dana you did not deserve the treatment I gave any of you. And after I know what it feels like from that letter I should have known better and not treated the three of you the way I did. I love you all very much. I guess that is all I have to say is please forgive me and I love you and in the future I promise to be there for you and to respect and hear your feelings. And not be so selfish and only care about my feelings. Because I know how much that hurts. I love you all and I can’t wait to see you all and hug you all and give you a personal I’m sorry.

Peace and love Laurelin