The Great American tapir

I am tapering off my pain medication. I can’t stand having opiates in my body anymore. But unfortunately, I am absolutely miserable. I am in so much pain, but I’m just dealing with it. I don’t want to put opiates in my body anymore, but the doctor will not prescribe me any other pain medication

So I have been meditating a lot. And it does seemed to help. I used to meditate when I was younger, and I’m hoping I can get to the same state of mind I was able to get to when I was younger. Unfortunately, my mind wanders now. And I used to be able to see clearly, now all I do is focus on the things I still need to get done in life. So, Eastern medicine isn’t working. And I’m trying to stay away from Western medicine. so basically, I am fucked. all I can do is wait. hope stem cells grow new neural pathways

I am at the mercy of experimental medication. I hope it works. It cost me an awful lot of money. It’s my last chance oh, I will not give up. I will not surrender. I will not let multiple sclerosis defeat me.

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