First I had a vision.
Then went on a mission.
I cannot stand for in decisive in decision
Then I saw a red hat, standing with a gun.
Then I knew that science was finally on the Run!
Come on, bring on, Summer.
Go out with one another.
I cannot stand if you bring this to my brother.
Then I saw the virus, sitting with a grin.
Saying now it’s time for the party to begin….
Today is my birthday, happy birthday to me!
40 years have gone by, a lot I did see.
But this is the weirdest birthday of them all.
Quarantined, alone, up against the wall.
No restaurants to go to or anyone to visit this year
No movie to make me laugh, scream, or shed a tear
The virus we can’t see it but we know it is there!
Cannot risk going out, for it is everywhere!
Thank you to all who reached out to me on the phone.
I know I’m not the only person to celebrate a birthday alone!
We cannot celebrate together. We must be smart and think twice.
Alone on my birthday is my small sacrifice.
We all have cabin fever. The weather invites. But stay inside!
I love you. Please, no one, take the covid-19 ride!
It’s my birthday, I am allowed one wish to come true,
I wish love, health, safety, to each and everyone of you.
At the end of June in 2017 I was on life support for 6 days. One year exactly on the same day I snapped out of life support I visited the Pacific Ocean, not to prove to myself I was still here, but because I could.
I went to SUNY Cortland and lived a half an hour away in Whitney Point. One day I drove past my school exit on the highway and kept driving north. I got to Albany. Then I drove to Canada. Not just to show my newfound Independence but, because I could.
When I lost the ability to drive I began to write. Then I lost the ability to write and to type and I began to speak. My words still echo the page. I can still go anywheres I choose. I choose to stay in one spot. You are capable of anything you choose. When someone asks me why did you of all things I became a wife and mother, I reply, because I could. Because I can.
Remember the painter on PBS that always painted happy little trees? He had an afro, and he painted the most beautiful scenery. Yesterday I wrote a pretty depressing blog. It was more like a journal entry. But we can’t be happy all the time. I wish we could, but we cannot. We are still Human, After All.
Usually I always look on the brighter side of things. Today I am happy again with my happy little trees. Being aware of this fact, makes all the difference. I treat my emotions like they’re the ocean. The waves can get very high, but they always eventually crash on the banks of the beach. I wonder if that painter of the happy little trees painted happy little trees all the time. I bet you sometimes he painted dark, dismal, things. But they don’t show you depressing stuff on PBS.. so everyone remembers him as the painter who painted happy little trees. No one wants to remember the sad little trees.
And that is okay! It is good to be positive. I myself am a glass-is-half-full type of girl. But I’m also a realist. And I know that sometimes that tree is not that happy. But if you just ride that feeling out like a wave, you will find that new leaves grow on the tree. And it becomes a happy little tree once again. Sometimes you can’t make lemonade out of a lemon. Sometimes you just want to chop that lemon tree down. But that feeling will subside. And you will feel pretty damn guilty if you chop a lemon tree down for no good reason. So feel your feelings. Ride them out like a wave. Because they will eventually crash onto the beach. This too shall pass. Nothing lasts forever. Not this virus. Not your feelings. Nothing. Remember that the happy little tree will be happy once again. It’s just a matter of time. Today, paint yourself a happy little tree. And if that tree starts to turn dark, remind yourself that this too shall pass.