Why not me?

I am in the process of writing a memoir. I have my birth to Age 4 written. And I have from 1998 to the Present written. It is a story about my journey with multiple sclerosis and with addiction. Believe it or not I have had a very interesting life. It will be a fun read. As I am writing it I find myself questioning, why not me? I know we always question about God and why we are here. Writing my story makes me wonder ,why not me? I have had many friends die of addiction. I had a friend murdered on the day I was supposed to be with him. I have lost two boyfriends to addiction. I have seen terrible things and have had terrible things done to me. But I am still here. And I wonder, why not me? Why have I been so lucky to survive so many incidents that should have killed me. Multiple sclerosis has lead  me down very dark paths, but it has never killed me. Why not me? There has to be a reason. I just can’t be one of those people who thinks life is just full of coincidences. I believe there are no coincidences in life. So again I ask myself,  why not me? I think a person could go crazy wondering about this question every day. It is just like why am I here? Is there a God? Why do bad things happen to good people? We will never get the answers to these questions. Maybe in the afterlife. If you believe in an afterlife. I am sure everyone has pondered these questions. Why have I been so lucky? I will never know. All I can do is make the best of the time I have left here on Earth. Perhaps I am just lucky. Perhaps I am here to share my journey with multiple sclerosis and addiction with all of you. Perhaps I am here because a bunch of Atoms  spinning around just happened to spend the right way and create me. Perhaps I was meant to be here. Perhaps I have a soul and that soul will never die. Perhaps we are just a mass of material left over from The Big Bang Theory. Perhaps there is no perhaps. Why not me? I think the answer to all of these questions are.. don’t question. Just live. And live the best life you can with what you are given. Why not me? Perhaps. …

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