Addicted to More

If you name a letter, I can tell you a drug I have done that starts with that letter. A is for Alcohol.  B is for barbiturates. C is for cocaine. D is for Dramamine. E is for ecstasy.F is for fentanol. G is for ghb.H is for heroin…. I could go through the whole alphabet but I believe I’ve proved my point. I am a recovering drug addict. It all started when I started self-medicating because I found out I had multiple sclerosis in high school. None of these letters or drugs help in any way. Did I escape from my problems? Did I forget I had multiple sclerosis? The answer is no. Now at age 36 I see the damage that could have happened to me and may have happened to me and I have no memory of it. People think that you start smoking a little marijuana and it’s a gateway drug. I don’t believe this is true but if it is, that is not the case with me. Through working a program, I have come to realize that most people begin addiction by self-medicating for something . They want to escape something. They want to know it meant who they are. They want to work hard and stay up all night to get an A in college. The end result is always the same. Institutions, jail or death. If you are lucky enough, as I have been to escape these then you should be very proud of yourself. If you are reading this and you have an addictive personality stay away from it all. It does not improve things it only makes things worse. I am lucky enough to have experienced institutions and jail but not death yet. However I Know it will not be due to chemicals. Our community has become one of the worst of overdosing communities in the country. Every year I know at least one or two old friends that have overdosed and died. I write this blog to implore all of you that chemicals are no cure for Anything. chemicals are not fun; in fact they may start fun but they only lead to institutions, jail or death. I would not wish my past experiences upon my worst enemy. However, I would not change a thing that I have learned a lot from my experiences. It sounds fun being a drug Runner until you’re pulled over and found with drugs in your car. It sounds fun until you owe a dealer hundreds of dollars and he holds a gun to your head. It’s all fun and games until you die. And that is what will happen to you, my friends. If institutions and jail don’t work you it will kill you. Every human being on this planet has value has worth. Deep inside we are not supposed to live as hedonist. We are supposed to live as humanitarians and help each other. I hope by exposing myself I have helped at least one person. Do not make the same mistakes that I have made. You may not get as lucky as I have been. Peace and love Laurelin O’Brien 

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